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Some people never tell you they are hurting. They just become funnier. They add more “lol”s to sentences that were never funny. They send laughing emojis after saying something that should have sounded heavy. They say “I’m fine :)” with a smile so carefully placed that you almost feel guilty for not believing it. Almost. Because when you know someone well enough, sadness has a different grammar. You notice when their replies get shorter. When warmth disappears from familiar words. When “okay” suddenly feels colder than silence. When they start using broken hearts casually, as though repeating the symbol often enough will make everyone stop asking what broke them. And the strangest thing is, people think hiding pain means saying nothing. It doesn’t. Sometimes pain talks constantly. It just changes its language. It becomes sarcasm. It becomes “haha.” It becomes “don’t worry about me.” It becomes three laughing emojis sent too quickly. It becomes a smiley at the end of a sentence that never sounded happy in the first place. That is why I have never completely trusted emoticons. They are too convenient. A face can smile while the person behind the screen is exhausted. A heart can be broken without anyone having to explain who broke it. A laughing emoji can end a conversation exactly where the truth was about to begin. Maybe that is what they were made for. Not to show what we feel. But to give us something to hide behind when words become too honest. And sometimes, the most heartbreaking part is not that someone lied when they said they were fine. It is realizing they were quietly hoping someone would notice the lie. So you learn to read people differently. You stop believing every smile. You stop taking every “I’m okay” literally. You listen to the spaces between messages. You notice the jokes that arrive at the wrong moment. You pay attention to the little symbols people keep repeating without ever explaining. Because there are people who will never type, “I am not okay.” They will type, “I’m good 😂” And somehow, the people who truly know them will understand the difference. Funny thing, though. Once you become good at recognizing the masks other people wear, you eventually notice your own. You catch yourself typing, “Nothing, I’m fine :)” You add a laughing emoji. You hit send. And suddenly you understand why they did it. Sometimes the easiest person to lie to is not the one reading the message. It is the one writing it.
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